Product Advice

Choosing a Toy

Each toy serves it’s own unique purpose, it is therefore helpful to have a good idea about the different kinds of toys before making your purchase.

Quality of Material

All toys are made of materials that are safe to use, however some materials are easier to keep hygienic than others.

Silicone is the most expensive, but it is also the nicest of all materials. It has a non-porous surface that cannot absorb bacteria, dust or odour. Most silicone toys can be boiled to sterilize and all of them retain body heat. They can also be warmed up in a bowl of warm water prior to lovemaking. They feel the most natural and therefore tend to be the most comfortable. Silicone also carries the vibrations very well and is therefore a more powerful stimulator.

Jelly is also a good material. It’s soft surface is much more comfortable than traditional hard plastic vibrators. Though not as superior in quality as silicone, it can be easily cleaned with mild soap and warm water. It’s major pitfall is that is does not retain warmth very well and tends to have a more rubbery odour. Jelly also tends to absorb the vibrations and is usually less powerful than it’s silicone and hard plastic sisters.

Latex is not as soft as jelly or silicone and is obviously not suitable for anyone with an allergy to latex. It is, however, even easier to keep clean than jelly.

Vinyl and hard plastic is not recommended for internal use. It’s hard surface has been known to cause discomfort amongst our customers. For this reason, we recommend that hard plastic vibrators only be used as clitoral stimulators. The vibrations are not absorbed as they are with jelly vibrators, making them a powerful stimulator.

The Different Types of Vibrators

You need to know if you are looking for vaginal, clitoral or both kinds of stimulation before deciding on a toy. You also need to know if you want something with a mild or strong vibration. A good way to determine this is to ask yourself…

Do you I like direct stimulation or is penetration alone often enough?

If you’ve found that direct stimulation is too intense for you, then you probably need to go with a vaginal vibrator or a very mild clitoral vibrator. On the other hand, if you prefer direct clitoral stimulation, you would want to go for a strong clitoral vibrator. If however you’d like to try both, then you might want to look at some of our models that provide both types of stimulation.

Do I want to use this whilst making love or alone?

Though vaginal vibrators can be a great foreplay tool, if you want to use your toy while having penetrative sex you may want to select a smaller clitoral vibrator so it does not get in the way. An external battery pack is also a great idea, so you have more freedom to move your hands around. With an external battery pack it can also be easier for your partner to ‘take control’.

Where do I want to use my toy?

If you want the freedom to use your toy in the bath, shower or pool then you will need to select a waterproof model. Normal models cannot be fully submerged in water.

Clitoral Vibrators

The majority of our nerve endings are external. It therefore makes sense to have a vibrator specifically designed for stimulating the clitoris! Clitoral vibrators are usually smaller than vaginal ones, but carry much stronger vibrations. Their small size makes them ideal for use whilst making love. Some clitoral stimulators come attached to a ‘erection ring’ that slips over the penis or your toy to provide you with stimulation during penetration. We recommend the Pocket Rocket or the Micro Tingler if you are after a clitoral vibrator that packs a real punch!

Vaginal Vibrators

These are traditional vibrators designed for penetrative stimulation. They aren’t generally orgasmic for most women and are usually used in conjunction with a clitoral vibrator. Many women find that although they can’t reach orgasm with penetration alone, they do enjoy the sensation.

Some vaginal vibrators are slightly curved to stimulate the G-Spot. Not all women enjoy g-spot stimulation, however the majority do. If you have never located your g-spot this type of vibrator is an excellent way to find it. (And even if you don’t actually find it, you can have a lot of fun trying!) The material vaginal vibrators are made from is particularly important. Harder materials tend to not be as comfortable as softer ones.

Waterproof models are also available if you enjoy playing in the bath!

Vaginal & Clitoral

This is by far the most popular type of vibrator. These vibrators work double time to stimulate you vaginally and clitorally. (And in some cases, anally too!) This is a great way to begin experimenting with vibrators, as it allows you the freedom to experiment with all types of stimulation. Models such as the Iconic Pocket and the Mia 2 are designed to be used in a number of ways, but not at the same time. The Joyberry, for instance, is big enough to use vaginally, strong enough to use clitorally and has a flared base that makes it safe to use anally. You can use it either/or but not simultaneously. Whereas models such as the Pearlboy are designed to be used vaginally and clitorally at the same time. Their maximum stimulation is what makes them the best sellers that they are!

Anal Toys

The anus is richly endowed with nerve endings and stimulation can be as pleasurable as that of the genitals. The male prostate gland is most easily stimulated through the anus. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Plenty of good lubricant, relaxation and communication are all important for safe anal play. The receptive partner must be in control of the action. If the action hurts, stop, relax and try again. Take it slowly and gently. An anal toy must have a smooth, seamless surface and a flared base to prevent it from slipping right into the rectum. If it is longer than 10cm it must be very flexible to adapt to the curve of the rectum. Like vibrators, anal toys are all designed for their own unique purposes.

Anal beads and wands are designed to be inserted slowly, bit by bit and then removed quickly right before climax. In doing this, you provide stimulation to the anus. This type of anal toy is more popular with women. The vibrations from anal vibrators provide a powerful and intense stimulation suitable to both men and women. Anal plugs have a narrow neck so that the muscles hold them in place. Having vaginal sex whilst wearing an anal plug can be extremely pleasurable. Most anal plugs can also be fitted in a harness. Silicone does not absorb odour or bacteria and is therefore the most desirable material to look for when selecting an anal toy.

Dildos

A dildo doesn’t vibrate and this is what makes them different to vibrators. Dildos have long been a favourite amongst the lesbian community. More recently however, heterosexual couples are also finding these toys an exciting accessory to love making.

Double Ended Dildos

A double ended dildo is a long dildo with no base and 2 rounded ends that can be used with your partner or alone as a vaginal and anal stimulator. Double ended silicone dildos are only available by purchasing two silicone dildos and using a dual strap to bring them together.

If genital contact is desired between partners a shorter double ended dildo would be required, however movement would be limited because they tend to slip out. If more movement and a variety of positions is desired, then a longer double ended dildo is required, although genital contact would be minimal. The majority of our customer’s purchase a jelly doubled ended dildo, as they tend to be longer and less expensive.

Dildos & Harnesses and Strap -Ons

Plus Size Strap on

Plus Size Strap on

Traditionally dildo harnesses are worn by the female partner to penetrate their partners. Men, however, can use a dildo and harness to provide their female partners with anal stimulation while also providing vaginal stimulation. Harnesses have a ring in the middle of them to slip a dildo into. The flare on the base of the dildo needs to be bigger than the ring on the harness in order to stay in place. Most of our dildos have big enough flares, but we always let you know if you have selected a dildo unsuitable to the harness you have also selected. The leather harness is the highest quality harness available. They usually have D-Rings to secure the straps and therefore can be adjusted easily to fit most people and won’t slip and slide like cheaper harnesses are known to do.

Other uses

All of our dildos can be used on their own to provide internal stimulation. Women who have suffered from some vaginal conditions or are recovering from vaginal surgery very often use dildos to get comfortable with penetration again.

Glass dildos in particular are good for women suffering from vaginal trauma. They are frictionless and so won’t ‘catch’ like other dildos may, making them ideal for women experiencing discomfort.

Restraint Games

Many people enjoy the fantasy of dominating or being dominated. This can entail being tied up, being blindfolded, and/or using whips or nipple clamps. Certain levels of pain can be experienced as pleasure when both partners are swept up in the fantasy. The most important rule to observe is that any games played must be consensual. This is a fantasy and should not involve real suffering or humiliation. Both partners must find the activity pleasurable. It is important to be aware of safety issues and to establish a word or sign which means stop and which will be immediately observed. Many people enjoy the level of trust required to play these games satisfactorily.

For a lot of women nipple clamps are highly pleasurable. They pinch the nipples slightly to provide stimulation to the nerves within the nipple. The Penthouse Multi-Speed Wireless Nipple Clamps are a favourite amongst our customers as they carry strong vibrations and are adjustable.

Handcuffs are a very common and light form of BDSM. (bondage, discipline and sadomasochism) We also stock wrist and ankle cuffs for the more serious player. Feel free to e-mail us if you require further information about these.

Crops generally produce more of a sting when used for whipping than whips. We recommend whips for anyone just beginning to experiment with BDSM.

Lubrication

Whether or not you need a lubricant will come down to personal preference. Most women experience occasional vaginal dryness, some more so than others. There are also a variety of uses for lubrication.

Lovemaking without sufficient lubrication can be very uncomfortable. Applying a small amount of lubricant inside and around the opening of the vagina greatly reduces discomfort. We recommend Sylk for vaginal penetration. The one time when there is no doubt about the need for lubrication is anal sex. Anal sex can be hugely pleasurable, but because the anus does not produce it’s own lubrication a lubricant is absolutely needed.

Toys are not like flesh – unless you are using glass there is going to be a considerable amount of friction. This can lead to serious discomfort if you aren’t adequately lubricated. As you use your toys you’ll quickly work out how much lubricant is the right amount for you.

Further Information

I have just described the typical uses of various toys, but you should feel free to experiment with your toys. As long as you keep safety in mind (particularly with anal toys) experimenting with your toys can be a fun and pleasurable experience!

A Note About Batteries

We advise our customers not use Energizer, Eveready GOLD and Duracell in their toys, as these batteries tend to wear out the motors quickly. Your warranty is also voided if these batteries are used. We have found that vibrators perform best when Eveready BLACK and Toshiba are used. Rechargables are also suitable.
Note: The Pearl Boy Deluxe has a modified motor that can handle the stronger batteries and therefore you can use Energizer, Eveready GOLD and Duracell.

Regular reading

Read Maureen’s advice column ‘About Last Night’ every Sunday in The Sunday Age

Happy shopping from the team at Bliss For Women!